dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
