i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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