Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Will you blow on my dice?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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