Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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