i can't believe i had my finger in that
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
