the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
