Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize