I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
