It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
