you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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