I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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