I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
