Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
