I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
