I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
