Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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