u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
