I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
