My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
