I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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