Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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