I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
