She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
