You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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