do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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