oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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