I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
