maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
