Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
