do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
