he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
