So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend