I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.