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• (813): View more from Florida

  hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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• 

  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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• (310): View more from California

  I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.

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• 

  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  3 2 1 whiskey

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)

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• (716): View more from New York

  There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...

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