hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...