Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
