the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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