Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
