I feel like abortions should bother me more
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
