Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize