i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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