yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
