If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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