BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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