So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
