Don't you send me to vm
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
