So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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