you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
