How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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