Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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