this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
