you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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