I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
