I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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