A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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