i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
