Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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