She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
