there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
