i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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