he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
