so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
