you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
