The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
