Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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